This weekend is Veteran's Day and it's really important to remember the contributions that have been given to us by our troops. They made the sacrifices that allow us to have the freedoms we enjoy today. Yet one type of military hero often gets overlooked. The domestically deployed or reservists.
Like for instance, take my friend Charlie. Charlie defends our country every day. He's a marine and he is an expert. Not just an expert on firearms or short haircuts, but EVERYTHING. He will tell you why Randy Coture is the best fighter ever, even better than Muhammad Ali who "was just fighting other black guys." He is an expert on movies, and can tell you exactly why Terminator 3 is the best movie ever, and explain to you how you are a faggot if you don't agree and you can suck his dick. He is a consummate lady's man. All the women want to get their hands on him. If they don't, they're terribly ugly lesbians.
Some might wonder how such a true American hero has time to share so much of his wisdom on the internet. Well, it turns out he is defending our country from a military base in Alabama. That is about as close to the front lines as you can get. God bless you, Charlie.
Indeed, it seems many of our military heroes defend us from the dangers of the internet every day. It is no wonder the media constantly reports how strapped and stressed our military is, as clearly they are spending all their energy defending the world wide web.
While we remember our heroes of today, let us not forget the great domestically deployed heroes of the past. Like the coast guards who kept our shores safe from hippie free love during Vietnam. Or the sgt who made sure that wives of soldiers oversea did not go without regular sex-often if they had no desire of sex to begin with!
Indeed, our country would be in rough shape without all the people who somehow weaseled their way out of fighting and dying in foreign wars. They don't ask you to remember them individually. They just ask you to never forget the sacrifices they've made as a group. The freedom to be called a faggot on the internet. The freedom for your wife to be raped. The freedom for you to be blasted by a fire hose while protesting racial discrimination. Domestically Deployed Soldier, we (meaning me since i am the only person who still writes for this stupid site) salute you!
Thinks to Remember on this Veteran's day